She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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