Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize