i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
