I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
