she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There's always time for handjobs
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
