i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
