I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
