Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
