Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize