Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
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