it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
