I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
