Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
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My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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