No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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