She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
