You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
