yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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