Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
