Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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