My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
