i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The Olympian is in my bed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
