dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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