DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
