That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
