ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
