yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
