Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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