Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
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It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
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