i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
