so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
