My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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