I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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