Pants 0. Shit 1.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
