I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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