I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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