Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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