K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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