areolas are like halos for boobs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just want to make out with him forever
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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