you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
