its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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