problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
