When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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