she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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