I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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