Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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