i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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