thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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