I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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