is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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