She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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