Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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