literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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