My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
