You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
its not stalking. its research.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
