i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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