My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
