I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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