hotel room ftw
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
