Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
